- The parking garage elevator at 6:05am is a comforting Who’s Who of other residents who don’t have their shit together.
- Strive to write the kind of H&P that, years from now, will still be worth blatantly copying.
- The NICU is the perfect place for people who want to spend their day doing only 1 thing really well. The PICU is the perfect place for people who want to spend their day bitching about the ineptitude of the floor teams.
- The secret to a successful intubation: More anterior than that. Keep going. Keep going. Goddamnit, AS ANTERIOR AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. There.
- “So, wie es ist, bleibt es nicht” – Brecht
- A good way to teach 4th year medical students without boring powerpoints is to teach them how to write orders.
- Nobody is allowed to die without steroids.
- Do not mess with: the pancreas. a cardiac baby. a grown woman’s precedex drip.
- Just because you can rap the phrase “We think she’s hypertensive ’cause she’s volume-overloaded” does not mean anyone else will appreciate it.
- Bad things happen when sodium runs amok.
- Q4h labs will ruin your night shift.
“and oftentimes I am awoken at three in the morning by screams in the attic I’ll run upstairs, wrench the door open call out a warning (and try not to sound panicked) but my hammering heart hears the voices of spirits that tempt us, the scorn that they’ve spoken I’ll remember the sad frightened noises of an old friend who dreamt once of storms on the ocean
and black eyes looking up from below”