I Matched! I Have A Job! Someone Will Pay Me Real Money!

Unfortunately I can’t outright tell you the specialty (sorry, everyone who’s asked!), because it’s just so small: there are only double-digit numbers of us, and I haven’t yet decided just how reckless I want to be with my internet pseudonymity.

But I can tell you that so far the Frequently Asked Questions include “Wait, that’s a specialty?”, “You can DO that?”, and “Isn’t that a fellowship? How did you match straight into a fellowship?” – so, you know, that’s fun. (Anyone super emotionally invested in my story can probably detective it out from there, but if you’re that invested, you deserve it.)

But – right, the important thing! I matched at my #2 program. And yes, as nice as it would have been to say “I matched at my #1 program”, the program I did match into has a much, much more recognizable / prestigious name – so, somewhat bizarrely, I think I’ve gotten way more sincere congratulations and impressed reactions from my friends than I would’ve the other way around.

(There is a tiny, possibly evil, part of me that enjoys that. It all works out, I guess.)

But – real talk: I’m going to miss med school. If you’re still a student, I have only one piece of advice for you:

Enjoy every irritating, terrifying, face-palmingly-stupid minute. 

God knows, I did.

Residency Interview Season 2013

The First Week After Submitting

staredown impatient

i expect nothing and i'm still let down

Getting That First Interview Invite


they broke up 2

uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh

… And That Program Earns A Special Place In Your Heart Forever.

kiss the screen

Especially Since No Other Program Seems To Like You

single mascara tear

… Until One Day…

chris rock holy crap you're dumb reaction gif

 When You Get 17 Interview Offers….

wait - what

… In 3 Hours.

oh god oh god oh god

i'm dead now gotta go

And You Try To Fit All Their Restrictive Interview Date “Choices” Into Your Calendar

excited typing

i got nothing

this is a nightmare

… But Mathematically, It Doesn’t Work.

that is not going to happen


yelling into pillow aaaaaaagh

And Now You Have To Write Horribly Complicated Emails Declining Those Precious Interviews

first of all i feel like an asshole

i am not good at saying no okay

And You Still Aren’t Guaranteed To Match


… Welcome To ERAS 2013-2014.

just slow clap it out

Applying For Residency: In GIFs

Students Applying to Surgery

i will take what is mine with fire and blood

Students Applying to Medicine

little bit intimidating but i'm sure we'll live

Students Applying to Family Medicine


Writing Your Personal Statement: Draft #1

it's so weird being my own role model

Writing Your Personal Statement: Draft #2

can we just take a moment to celebrate me

Writing Your Personal Statement: Draft #3

my place is here

Reminding Your LOR Writers That They Have Two Weeks no big deal it’s only my entire career on the line Oh God Please Write It Soon

staredown impatient

why what is taking so long


Finalizing Your ERAS Application

signing your life away