“Hey, AP!  How’s pediatrics going?”

“I’m so bored I nearly stole a mop from the cleaning closet.”

“… so no pediatrics for you, then?”

“I mean, it’s just boring right now because it’s all well newborn checks.”

“I thought you loved newborns!”

“Well, if the job involved holding newborns all day, it’d be awesome!  I’d sign right up!  But it doesn’t.  It involves consulting ortho for breech births and telling the moms about the new car seat law.”

“You’d get bored of holding them all day too, though.”

“I would not.  The fact that you’re even saying that means you’re seriously over-estimating my mental maturity.  THEY HAVE TINY TOES.”

“Uh, honey, if you wanted to be a daycare worker you were supposed to check the OTHER box on your college application.”

“Goddamnit, you’re right.”

Since this conversation, I’ve realized I would be a pretty lousy daycare worker, for a multitude of reasons (most of which involve Being Responsible and Not Letting Kids Play “Hunger Games” To Determine Who Gets The Last Graham Cracker), but mostly because as near as I can figure it wouldn’t involve obsessing about the kids’ electrolyte panels.

A day without a serious conversation about potassium is NOT A DAY AT ALL,

6 thoughts on “Wikipediatrics

  1. I have nothing witty or prudent to add. I just wanted to say that I really enjoy your blog. I am a longtime lurker (geez, that sounds illegal), and I simply wanted to thank you for sharing your entertaining thoughts. That is all.

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