I’m cat-sitting for two friends right now. It’s great in every sense except for the one where I realize all my ex-boyfriends were right to prefer dogs.
The Limit to How Many Stupid Things A Cat Can Do In One Day:
Let’s tally it up.
1. Tried to eat a small stuffed Moses.
2. Knocked a glass jar off the counter.
3. Tried to eat the shards of glass that ensued from this decision.
4. Played a poorly thought-out game called “pouncing on the shards of glass”.
5. Tried to eat the shards of glass again
6. Bit and scratched me as I carried him away from the area of broken glass.
7. Immediately ran back to the area of broken glass.
8. Repeat 6 and 7 until I gave up and shut him in the hallway.
9. Whined and cried at the hallway door about not being allowed to eat the delicious broken glass.
8. After being released, immediately running off to the kitchen to see if there was any broken glass left to eat.
9. Despite the fact that the blood oozing from my hand was surely a little higher in actual nutritional value.
But it’s okay. After all that, I decided to rebalance the forces of the universe myself. Namely, by bravely commandeering the ice cream out of said friend’s freezer. (If said friend is reading this, don’t worry – it was just the vanilla. It was a necessary casualty. It made up for the wounds I sustained in the line of duty.)
I hear dogs are nice.