Google is on to me

So I saw this picture earlier today on gabifresh’s tumblr:

And then I cracked up for like 5 minutes.  I would watch the hell out of that movie.

So then I checked to see if this was a real google instant search result, and discovered that what you get on the Metropolis Med campus is depressingly different: mostly just “what would happen if you had no [insert organ here]” (There were like 20 of them).

So then I tried simply “What would happen if”, because that HAS to be less medically oriented, right?

I just.. I don’t even know, guys.  This is a location thing, right?  What would happen if the homeostatic mechanism failed?  Is this something google considers specific to our dorm? (I’m looking at you, Metropolis M2s reading this blog.  Also: 25 bottles of nyquil?  Just curious.)

If it’s not a location algorithm, that must mean it’s user-specific and google is basically saying “We all know this girl doesn’t search for anything fun anymore.  Frankly, we’re done even offering her the option.”

But I don’t like that possibility, so now I’m curious:  If you do a google instant search for “what would happen if”, are your instant results as ridiculous as ours?

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35 thoughts on “Google is on to me

  1. I’m at a college campus with an associated medical school across town. I get this:

    What would happen if…

    water was nonpolar
    the ozone layer vanished
    we didn’t sweat
    there was no moon

    I do have the same first result of you 🙂

  2. I got two of those results, in addition to “what would happen if the sun went out.” For another fun exercise, try “How to” followed by each letter in the alphabet one at a time. Personal favorite: “how to yodel”

    • See, that’s the kind of awesome search I’m talking about. I want more “What would happen if the sun went out”s and fewer “What would happen if the homeostatic mechanism failed”s.

  3. I got the same results…. in addition to… “what would happen if i ate myself”
    o_o
    …..
    ……..

    my google searches aren’t THAT weird, i swear =(

    though it’s worth mentioning that i’m also a med student so maybe they know by now the things i search for…

  4. I got the same; “what would happen if…” gave “the sun died”, “there was no moon” and “d-day failed”.

    Oddly enough the private investigator question was first in the list when I typed in “what would happen if you h…”

  5. Mine were all bio/natural geo?

    “What would happen if Taupo erupted?”
    “What would happen if there were no flies?”
    “What would happen if there was no carbon cycle?”

    • Actually, none of mine are medical, despite my frequent medical-googling!

      My “what would happen if you”s: travelled at the speed of light, touched lava, smoked catnip (!?), dropped a pen on the moon. Okay.

  6. I got “What would happen if Helios came down to Hades”, “What would happen if Hydrochloric Acid came into contact with Magnesium” and “What would happen if Taupo erupted”.

    I thought it was done on keywords you had searched previously and location? Although I’m not sure why people would be searching to see what would happen if a lake erupts.

    • Greek mythology? Duuude. Those are some high-brow searches!

      I don’t know, google won’t give away their algorithm – but I’m sure you’re right.

      Maybe those people know something we don’t…

  7. My results:
    what would happen if the ozone layer vanished
    what would happen if there was no moon
    what would happen if an asteroid hit earth
    what would happen if yellowstone erupted
    what would happen if the homeostatic mechanism failed
    what would happen if a girl took viagra

    First five aren’t that strange considering that I’m a med student and my brother is a space engineer. But the last one? I can’t seem to understand x)

  8. I guess this is a case of location location location (and recession??)
    Thanks for the hilariously awesome post and procrastination activity.

    My results:
    what would happen if Ireland defaults
    what would happen if Ireland left the Euro
    what would happen if the Euro collapses
    what would happen if you poured
    what would happen if the Euro fails
    what would happen if you drank blood
    what would happen if a man took birth control
    what would happen if the sun went out
    what would happen if you drank bleach

    Wow. Yikes! Either I am actually a (closet) suicidal/homicidal economist or that list had nothing to do with any of my previous searches.

  9. As well as the seemingly obligatory “no moon” one, I also seem to be interested in what would happen if’yellowstone errupted’, ‘an asteroid hit Earth’, and most interesting of all:
    What would happen if you had no bones.
    That’s a film I would watch (in fact have watched if family guy counts.

  10. I think it’s a college/university thing. I’ll try it out when I go home this weekend, but I got:
    What would happen if the ozone layer disappeared?
    What would happen if there was no friction?
    What would happen if the sun stood still?
    What would happen if there was no moon?
    and my school is mostly engineers and pre-med.

  11. What would happen if:
    -the ozone layer vanished
    -there was no moon
    -the earth stopped rotating
    -the sun went out
    My first result was also about Nyquil!

    What would happen if you:
    -ate poop
    -drank bleach
    -smoked catnip
    -drank rubbing alcohol

    People ask the strangest questions…

  12. I got the 25 bottles of Nyquil thing (must be wannabe meth manufacturers, which is not me so Google FAIL).

    Then I got (random) stuff like …

    What would happen if you fired a gun on a train
    What would happen if a Vulcan studied to be a Jedi
    What would happen if Congress rewrote the mortgage interest tax deduction

    The only thing that is related to my search history is the mortgage interest thing which I was reading about last year.

    Shocked there were no medical results in the search.

    M

  13. I got: “What would happen if a guy took birth control?” as my top search, along with “What would happen if apophis hit earth?” and “What would happen if the ozone layer vanished?”

    Strange…

  14. My favorite:
    What would happen if I ate myself.

    I’m too afraid to click on it, because I’m pretty sure it’s porn.

  15. Pingback: It’s not like I should be studying or anything… | Guide To MedSchool

  16. I got similar results but also: What would happen if I ate a teaspoonful of white dwarf star? and: What would happen if the cell membrane became impermeable? Not an astrophysicist or biologist, most of my searches are pretty mundane.

  17. …ozone
    …no moon
    …photosynthesis stopped
    …a meteor hit the earth

    Bing was better:
    …ran over a ninja
    …shot a gun in space
    …smoke catnip
    …divided by zero
    …ate weed
    …drank bleach
    …drank chlorox
    …esophagus burst

  18. … the earth stopped spinning
    … the government shut down
    … yellowstone erupted
    … a girl took viagra

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