Poor choices, self. Poor choices.

I’ve had this really obnoxious subcutaneous infection on my arm for the past week.  I’d been assuming it was just going to go away, but instead it’s been getting worse – bigger AND more painful.

This is not exactly comforting news.  So before my doctor’s appointment today, I decided I’d just do some quick googling – obviously, I don’t want this to be an early stage of proteolytic strep pyogenes, and since it’s super unlikely, why don’t I just google image search “necrotizing fasciitis”?  That way I’ll either feel reassured that I’m not about to lose an arm, or be aware of a legitimate concern – win/win!

For all of you playing along at home to this round of “Guess where the med student went wrong ®” – what do you think?

A.  Self-diagnosis is a bad idea.

B.  Google image search is not studying.  Bad idea.

C.  …. wait, you did a google image search for “necrotizing fasciitis”?  Excuse me, are you also the type of person who couldn’t sleep after watching Coraline, yet thought Saw might be relaxing and fun?

D.  I agree with C but am much too polite to phrase it that way.

Done?  So, okay, yes.  ( I mean, you didn’t have to phrase it quite so harshly- because, after all, I still haven’t seen Saw – but you’re absolutely right*.)

Public service announcement:  The google image search for “necrotizing fascitiis” is approximately one billion times worse than the google image search for “ascaris”.   (You may think this comparison is a slightly lame attempt at comedic exaggeration.  But I dare you to compare the two searches yourself and tell me I’m exaggerating.

… Actually, don’t.  The ensuing trauma might be the kind of thing I could get sued for.)

In unrelated news, 1)  I have a distinct lack of pre-necrotization.  Yay.  and 2)  I’ve determined that if I never leave my apartment again, I will never actually come into contact with flesh-eating bacteria.

This sounds like an excellent plan.

*  Except that – while it hides under the guise of being PG and animated – I would argue that Coraline is a legitimately terrifying movie.

6 thoughts on “Poor choices, self. Poor choices.

  1. I was cracking up. Also, you have convinced me to never, at any cost, look up “necrotizing fasciitis” so kudos. Also, to never watch Coraline. Or Saw.

  2. Oh, God!! I did it…I Googled. Oh, no no no no no no.

    Things like this is why my husband wants to block WebMD from my computer. Pretty sure that I could convince myself that I have at least four types of cancer in under ten minutes while using their “symptom checker.” Worst. Thing. Ever.

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