The Last Day Of Orientation Pep Talk

Chief Resident: Each patient room has a white-board – make sure that where it says ‘Physician’ you write your attending’s name.

Me: Do we write our own name on there, too? So the patient knows who we are?

Chief Resident: Nope. The patient doesn’t need to know who you are.

Other intern: I thought the nurse said it was critical to have the intern’s name on the white-board…?

Chief Resident: Oh! Haha, I see the confusion. Okay, no – she was talking about the white board at the nurse’s station! The nurses need to know who to call.

Me: Oh. Okay.

Chief Resident: See, one of the questions on the ‘Patient Satisfaction’ survey the hospital uses is ‘Did you know your attending physician’s name?’ – so we have to write it up there so the patients will get that question right. Makes our satisfaction score higher.

Me:   :\

Chief Resident: The rest of the team doesn’t matter, you’re just free labor.

Me:   😦

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5 thoughts on “The Last Day Of Orientation Pep Talk

  1. Chief resident should have said “we are just free labor”. As a resident too, he/she is supported by government dollars via ACGME grants. Doesn’t make it hurt less though. Sorry :/

    Have an amazing first day!!!

  2. Try to look on the bright side:
    When you (inevitably) fuck up (hey, everyone does), it won’t be your name on the whiteboard for the patient to remember!

    On my unit, we have 6 (!!!I know, wtf, can’t they hire people with a different name?!?) employees with the same first name, let’s say Nevaeh. I have to write my name on the whiteboard. If the patient has a history of being a complete d-bag, is high-needs, wants pain meds before they’re due and will pitch a holy fit if they don’t get them, or just likes to complain in general, I make sure to um, ah “forget” to put my last initial on the board. That way when they fill out the survey and they say Nevaeh was an incompetent boob and should not be practicing any form of medicine whatsoever, then it’s a little more difficult to pinpoint which Nevaeh was the focus of their patient-rage. Wrong? Maybe, but then again so is P-G bullshit.

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