Pediatric Life Support Training

EXPECTATION:

Instructor: And… begin.

Intern Leader: “Okay, look’s like the patient is in Vfib. You, please charge the defibrillator at 2 J/kg. You, please get vascular access. You two, start chest compressions and ventilation. We’ll shock, then continue with 2 minutes of CPR and reevaluate – if it’s still shockable, we’ll move on to 0.1 mL/kg of epi and charge at 4 J/kg.”

REALITY:

“Wait.. Guys, how does this thing plug in? There’s no plug for the chest pads.”

*10 panicked minutes pass as all interns independently confirm that the defibrillator does not connect to its chest pads in any way recognizable by human sight, touch, hopes, or indeed the very laws of physics*

“Hold on, let me look… I think I saw something, underneath all these cords… wait, no. That’s a lamp. But maybe…”

“IF YOU’RE HERE, WHO’S DOING CHEST COMPRESSIONS?”

“…”

*sound of guiltily resumed chest compressions*

“Let’s just.. let’s just give epi before we lose the patient.”

“Fine. I’ll draw it up while – wait, what’s the weight? ”

*sound of drilling*

“GUYS, I GOT VASCULAR ACCESS.”

“… Did you just put a hole in a $1500 mannequin.”

“… for vascular access.”

“This mannequin isn’t supposed to have vascular access!”

“Um, should I still give the epi?”

“YES”

“Oh. Well, we don’t have any.”

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One thought on “Pediatric Life Support Training

  1. I’m assuming your class was AHA. I really love how in the videos they always have such trite dialogue: “Jerome, I’ve noticed your compressions are starting to slow down and you’re not getting proper recoil. How about we switch?” “MeiJin, you’re right; I am getting a little tired. How about we trade?” Like those pleasantries would ever happen in real life.

    If only your PALS experience had been set to the Benny Hill theme…

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