Before the ceremony, we were all supposed to line up in alphabetical order. But when our Dean called out our names in said order to make sure we all knew how to alphabet (spoiler alert: NOPE), I suddenly knew that she’d skip right over me. And that she’d then pause and look at me all concerned and say, “Oh, hey… you’re not on my list…” and then everyone would know I was a terrible, terrible fraud.
But she actually did read my name: both before the ceremony and (arguably more importantly) during it.
So I guess I’m a doctor now!
I probably need to stop finding this hilarious.
Anyway, in other news, I’m moving to Midwest Metropolis! On Tuesday! And I will be super excited about it just as soon as I’m assured that I won’t be living in a cardboard box.
(Not really joking. I legitimately will be living out of my rental car / cheap motels until I manage to sign a lease – and the rental car is expensive, so…)
This move entails:
- Packing up everything I own.
- Realizing I own way too much stuff to fit in a rental van.
- Giving away half of my stuff.
- Hoping that everything else fits, miraculously, into said rental van.
- Driving 7 hours to Midwest Metropolis.
- Charming some landlord into giving me a lease ASAP so I can turn in my rental van and stop paying $150 a day for it jesus christ that’s a lot of money
- HYPOTHETICAL MOVING SUCCESS.
So far, I’ve gotten as far as Step #4: I’ve rented the van. I’ve packed my stuff. I’m ready and waiting.
I even looked up Craigslist apartment listings! I found one within walking distance of the hospital where a female grad student was looking for a “clean, mature, responsible female grad student or young professional”, and I was like “THAT’S ME. YOU’RE LOOKING FOR ME. HELLO, FUTURE BEST FRIEND.” and sent her a calmer, more subdued, casually disinterested version of that.
But it’s been 10 minutes and she hasn’t replied with an immediate offer so maybe I should diversify my options a little.
And finish packing.
And relearn all of pediatrics before someone accidentally expects me to know something useful.
And say goodbye to everyone in this town I’ve ever loved.