USMLE Week 5: Eh, Good Enough.

So after that mini-mental-breakdown of a practice test, I regrouped.  I montage-ed.  I set out to target my lowest-scoring subjects, grudgingly relearned them from scratch, ultimately spent more time alone in my room listening to morose music than I did during my last major break-up, and then proceeded to score, on two separate tests, just flat-out ridiculously higher.

… which – thanks in part to my newly-acquired Biostats knowledge (see: “lowest-scoring subjects” above) – I now know says more about just how poorly designed this test truly is than it does about how talented I may or may not be at short-term memorization.

(Okay, calling the USMLE “poorly designed” might sound a little harsh and high-minded – but when the NBME is purposefully distancing themselves from the notion that it’s an “achievement” test – in other words, that the exact scores mean anything – preferring instead to categorize it as “minimum competence”, and then still steadfastly reporting 3 significant figures?  At the steep end?  All while knowing that they’re handing out these career-determining judgements to the most self-absorbed, breakdown-prone students in the world?

… if that’s not poorly-designed, it’s at the very least disturbingly cold-hearted.)

And while I’m relieved as hell about scoring better, the relief is transient and the tiredness is a slow burn.  I’m forgetting more and more while caring less and less.

The result of adding this kind of burn-out to the general theme of my Step 1 study plan (which, FYI, would be most appropriately titled “Ways In Which I Helpfully Verified Common Wisdom By Ignoring It Entirely” – subtitle, “Somehow, It Went Poorly”) is a schedule for the last three days that looks something like “do stuff, but not too much or too little”.

I guess I will probably go through my flashcards again.  Or my notes?  Or re-listen to the recording I made of me reading First Aid.  Or learn to juggle.

I DON’T KNOW.  THERE ARE OPTIONS.  It’ll work out – and someday, as a commenter recently reminded me, there will be happiness again.  (Seriously, thanks for reading/tolerating self-absorbed posts like this, you guys.  Thursday can’t come soon enough.)

Meanwhile, Here Are Some Awesome Step 1 Resources Buried Deep In The Depths of The Internet: 

• – Compiled USMLE Step 1 Mnemonics
• – Protein Synthesis Inhibitors: Never Mix Them Up Again!
• – Virology Cheat Sheet – pretty great starting point, and well-designed to boot.
• – The Ultimate Guide to Gastrointestinal Hormones – Dude, seriously, this guy can make a table.
• – Confidence Intervals vs P-Value 
• – Everything I Need To Know I Learned From USMLEWorld – Where has this blog been all my life?
• – Goljan Flashcards (or here, a more selective set strictly from the Goljan High Yield document everyone raves about but never links to.)