Scene: We have just finished a case in the OR and the resident is watching me write the admission orders.
Me: I’ll write for an ADA diet.
Resident: Good. Now, there’s 3 kinds of ADA diets – 1800 calories, 2000 calories, and 2200 calories. I’m going to let you decide which one the patient gets.
Me: … It really doesn’t matter to you?
Resident: No, I trust your judgement.
Me: Okay, 2200 calories.
Resident: Good. Now, why’d you decide that?
Me: Well, I know it’s a bit high, but the patient will only be admitted for a day. And I guess I’m just feeling sympathetic because we cut their face open.
Me: … No?
Resident: *facepalm* Oh god.
Scene: Me on phone, later that day.
Me: I don’t think I’m cut out for surgery.
MS-4: Why? What’d you do?
Me: A resident asked why I was writing for an ADA-2200 diet, so I told him it was because we cut the patient’s face open.
MS-4: *stunned silence*
Me: I was feeling sympathetic. I retracted the skin flaps for 3 hours. Can you imagine how that will feel when the patient wakes up? How does that not justify extra gravy or whatever?
MS-4: *silence* Ok, I can see his point. You’re not cut out for surgery.
Me: Listen, I’m just advocating for my patient. It’s called HUMANISM in MEDICINE..
MS-4: Humanism in medicine? Yeah, I think I got a pin for that.