Vignettes From Surgery: I’ll probably never understand.

Scene:  We have just finished a case in the OR and the resident is watching me write the admission orders.

Me:  I’ll write for an ADA diet.
Resident:  Good.  Now, there’s 3 kinds of ADA diets – 1800 calories, 2000 calories, and 2200 calories.  I’m going to let you decide which one the patient gets.
Me: … It really doesn’t matter to you?
Resident:  No, I trust your judgement.
Me:  Okay, 2200 calories.
Resident:  Good.  Now, why’d you decide that?
Me:  Well, I know it’s a bit high, but the patient will only be admitted for a day.  And I guess I’m just feeling sympathetic because we cut their face open.
Resident: …
Me: … No?
Resident:  *facepalm*  Oh god.


Scene:  Me on phone, later that day.

Me:  I don’t think I’m cut out for surgery.
MS-4: Why?  What’d you do?
Me:  A resident asked why I was writing for an ADA-2200 diet, so I told him it was because we cut the patient’s face open.
MS-4:  *stunned silence*
Me:  I was feeling sympathetic.  I retracted the skin flaps for 3 hours.  Can you imagine how that will feel when the patient wakes up?  How does that not justify extra gravy or whatever?
MS-4:  *silence*  Ok, I can see his point.  You’re not cut out for surgery.
Me:  Listen, I’m just advocating for my patient.  It’s called HUMANISM in MEDICINE..
MS-4:  Humanism in medicine?  Yeah, I think I got a pin for that.

6 thoughts on “Vignettes From Surgery: I’ll probably never understand.

  1. HAHAHA I would have done the same thing. But ditto on what OMDG said, what was the right answer? Was his BMI too high or something?

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