Things I’m Fairly Certain I Can’t Do

It’s a long list.  But as far as a residency goes, I’d narrow down the list of thoroughly charming impossibilities to “surgery” and “pediatrics”.

Surgery’s awesome, but me standing still for 12 hours, so far, doesn’t seem to be biologically possible.  (Yeah, I realize I’m going to have to do it anyway.  My current plan involves salt pills, resourcefulness, and doing as much extra reading/scut as possible to distract people from my utter inability to get through a case without falling over.)

As for pediatrics, I don’t really have the personality.  I only love kids unconditionally when they’re under the age of 7.

(Hey.  Don’t look at me like that.  I don’t wish them any ill-will!)

(… Unless there’s 3 boys screaming their heads off and running around a restaurant while a smaller one throws a tantrum on the floor and their beleagured mother stares off into the distance with vacant, dead eyes and cheerios stuck in her hair.)

(I mean, hypothetically.  That’s definitely not something I saw every single day while waitressing at a popular family restaurant 6 years ago, but burned indelibly in my mind…)

Anyway.  Adult medicine isn’t exactly sunshine and roses either, so what the hell. I’ve decided to shadow a pediatrician today.  Maybe it will be fun!  Maybe I will fall in love with pediatrics!

Maybe I will not have a horrifying episode of waitressing-induced PTSD!

3 thoughts on “Things I’m Fairly Certain I Can’t Do

  1. It’s funny, when I started med school, I thought just like you. AND I thought pediatrics was going to be filled exclusively with the kind of women who’ve spent their lives running up to strangers with babies and cooing. Not my cup ‘o tea.

    But then I had a great experience on that rotation. Sometimes the kids were tough to take (in outpatient peds this happened more than in inpatient), but mostly the difficult ones were the parents. In reality though, the parents weren’t any worse than dealing with the kids of the geriatrics patients.

    Anyway, keep an open mind and give it a chance. You might find you really like it afterall!

  2. I – as anyone who knows me knows – hate children, but even I had to agree some of the little guys are pretty cute. (I’m in the midst of my pediatrics rotation, and aside from the ones actively trying to give me RSV or gastro, they’re pretty fun).

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