I saw a dermatologist yesterday, just to make sure a new mole wasn’t cancerous. (Hello, family history of melanoma!) And I have to admit, derm started to look like a pretty sweet career – and not because skin is that interesting to me. At least, I’m fairly certain I’ve never said the words “skin” and “interesting” in the same sentence – but somewhere between the elevator and the lobby I decided I could easily be persuaded.
All the doctors came into the waiting room to greet their own patients, everyone looked happy, and the waiting room was criminally expensive-looking. They might as well have just thrown $100 bills at the walls and put up a sign that said, “Haha, as a practice, we’re so rich we just can’t fit these things in our wallets anymore”. Lo, this was surely the promised land of medicine.
Doctor: Hi! What brings you in today?
Me: Oh, my internist suggested this mole be checked out by “someone who actually knows what they’re doing.” He’s comforting like that.
Doctor: Hmm. Yeah, that’s not cancerous – but come back if it changes. Anything else? *reaches for doorknob*
Me: (... There is no way in hell I am having a 30 second appointment after spending an hour on the subway.) Uhh.. Yes! Yes there is.
Doctor: Oh?
Me: Could I get a prescription for my acne?
Doctor: Oh! Okay. *looks at my face* Hmm, it’s very mild. Are you just highly motivated?
Me: Yes. (No. But what the hell, this specialty looks tempting, and I would need a perfect face to match into it. I think.)
Doctor: In that case, I’d suggest Epiduo. Here, have a fist-full of tiny samples and a prescription! And here’s a coupon that will make the full bottle free!
Me: Oh, super cool.
But I couldn’t find the ‘catch’ on the coupon. I spent the train ride home trying to figure out why the hell a pharm company would give their product away for free. I mean, what kind of strategy is that? I decided it had either recently lost market share due to horrible side-effects, or it was new.
Then I looked it up online. No, it hadn’t lost market share, and it wasn’t new. But each subsequent bottle will cost me $100.
…. So that strategy makes sense now.
Action Potential 
LOL. Super motivated == super….. neurotic?
Love it!
Haha, yep. “Well, if you’re going to phrase it like THAT, how can I bring myself to say ‘no’?”
Are they really the dark side? Or are they the super clear, smooth, blemish-free side?
Hahaha. Point: Sonje.
I read something the other day to the effect that pharm companies will give coupons that cover a patient’s costs… and then rake in the money from the insurance company, which otherwise would have been paying for a generic.
That does make sense. I think I read that, too!
I can’t understand how any physician could be content with a specialty in which they only spend 30 seconds with their patients. Although…I’m sure in a year or two the money will be enough motivation that I’d jump at a career like that.
Yeah. They charged my insurance company over $200 for those 30 seconds, and got 3 diagnoses out of the deal.
Don’t worry about any more long subway trips… pretty soon you’ll be able to diagnose your moles remotely via your smart phone. In fact, the future is now.
The future is so awesome.
I saw a Grey’s Anatomy episode where the surgical residents were tempted by a ‘relaxing’ career in Dermatology. Reading this entry reminded me of that. 🙂