The worst time management tricks I’ve tried

These time-management solutions were supposed to make me spend more time memorizing interleukins, and less time looking at funny pictures of cats on the internet.

They did not work.

1.  Caffeinating my way out of naps.

The theory:  When you feel yourself getting too sleepy to function without an afternoon nap, just down a diet coke first, then nap!  The diet coke will kick in after 10-15 minutes, so you’ll awaken refreshed and ready to go after the scientifically perfect amount of time.

The reality:  I woke up, bleary-eyed and reluctant, 3 hours later.

I’m not sure what I was expecting exactly – honestly, probably the only way I’d be able to wake up “refreshed” after only 10 minutes is if I upgraded from diet coke to crystal meth.  (Or detoxed myself off caffeine.  But let’s be real.)

2.  Buying A $40 Planner

True, my cheap planner worked great in undergrad –  but I knew that med school called for an upgrade.

So when I walked out of the medical school bookstore with my fancy new purchase, I felt like I had a fancy new life – a life full of hope as The Most Organized Med Student In The World.

But in reality, here’s how every date in that planner looked:

… for the 4 whole days that I used it, anyway.

3.  Using “Self Control”.

I think the worst thing about Self Control (the application that turns off the internet for a pre-determined amount of time) is the name.  That damned name led me into this conversation at least five times:

Me:  Ugh, I want to be studying right now, but the internet is so tempting!
Friend:  Have you tried self control?
Me:  Have you tried your face?
Friend: … That.. doesn’t make sense.
Me:  Your face doesn’t make sense.

And then the conversation would inevitably end with a group critique of my limited witty comeback skills, instead of an explanation of what Self Control really is.

Eventually, I realized my friends weren’t just insulting me with their suggestions, so I downloaded the program.  I told it to turn off the internet for 1 hour, so of course it promptly proceeded to turn off the internet for forever.  I tried restarting, it ignored me.  I uninstalled it, it ignored me.  The whole process took at least 3 hours of study time.

Thanks a lot, Self Control.  If it wasn’t for you, I could’ve spent those horrifying 3 hours doing something productive.

Like looking at funny cat pictures.