Now That 1st Year’s Over: Questions I Want to Ask My Doctor

So all these years, have you been mentally doubling the number of drinks I claim to have per week?

Now that you know I’m onto you and your sneaky doctor tricks, are you going to start quadrupling it?

… Actually, since you’re friends with my mother, quadrupling the number I give you would probably be about right.  Fair enough.

Can you teach me how to percuss?

When was the last time you checked CN I?

Oh – and can I get on some Accutane or something?  Cause seriously, I’m almost 25, this acne crap is ridiculous.

Yes, I wash my face with warm water.

By the way, since my dad’s BP shows no sign of coming down, when are you going to put him on a thiazide?  Does he claim to be implementing ‘lifestyle changes’? He is not.

I mean, I’m not questioning your judgement.  Just curious.  Seems like it’s time to me, but what do I kno-

Wait, why are you shaking your head and leaving?

Don’t you know that “leaving” isn’t a very good technique for building a humanistic doctor-patient relationship?  I know all about humanistic doctor-patient relationships.

Seriously!  Come back!  I WROTE AN ESSAY ON THAT STUFF.

(When my mother asks me why I haven’t scheduled a check-up for this summer, this will be the entry I point to.)

(Actually, considering the part about quadrupling my alcohol intake… perhaps it won’t.  Perhaps it won’t.)

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3 thoughts on “Now That 1st Year’s Over: Questions I Want to Ask My Doctor

  1. I agree with albinoblackbear, this post was awesone! If I were in your shoes, I seriously would be thinking of doing the same thing. Maybe if/when I become a Nurse Practitioner, I will do that!

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