Yesterday I woke up to the realization that, while I was sleeping, someone had apparently placed a tiny, delicate lawnmower into my throat and shredded it to pieces. (Somehow also causing a raging sinus headache, cough, and an alarmingly unpredictable case of Sneezing Attacks. It’s a medical mystery!) (It’s a cold.)
This was not my favorite thing ever. But I went to class anyway, fueled entirely on sudafed and a purse full of kleenexes, while sneezing constantly and just generally looking pathetic.
You can guess how much my classmates appreciated this. But hey, sick or not, I still had the energy to be there, so. (Related: How is sudafed a legal thing? I’m pretty sure the government is 1 crucial step off when they claim people use it to “make” methamphetamine, because oh my god, no one should be in that energetic a mood
when they’re that sick. ever.)
Unfortunately (for me, not my classmates), not even the power of psuedoephedrine was enough to get my Death Crud-infested self going today, so I gave up on the “bravely/drugged-ly perservering” thing and leveled up to the “lying in bed miserable” thing.
And I would just like to state, as a point of order here, that this is the really unfair part of med school: I spent thousands of hours studying Infectious Diseases this year, and the sum of my intelligence on this one is still just: “It’s a cold. Probably.”
I mean, sure – Medicine itself has known about the common cold for thousands of years without figuring out a cure, so the bar for knowledge is set pretty low there. But still, I think it’s too bad that I don’t know more. I mean, all I know for sure is that it can’t be the Black Plague, because Yersinia Pestis is transmitted by rodents, which I haven’t been exposed to.
(No, wait. That is a lie that vastly overestimates the quality of this dorm.)
My point is, despite my lack of Infectious Disease knowledge, and the lame-ness that is “being debilitated by a stupid cold”, I would like to believe I am super justified in lying in bed tonight, watching Glee and eating takeout soup instead of studying. (It’s like being “justified”, but more super. Also, with 40% more jazz hands and matzo!)