Today we started our Physical Diagnosis class! Real doctor things, people! Asking other M1s to say “aaah” and waving around absurdly expensive sticks of light!
And you know what? It turns out – after learning the order of the “complete physical exam” – that I’ve never even had a complete physical exam done on me, which brings up all sorts of suspicious questions.
(I mean – scalp exam? Rhine test? Weber test? No way. Believe me – If someone had hit a tuning fork on a counter and then stuck it awkwardly on top of my head like a hat, I would’ve remembered.)
Anyway, so our first Physical Diagnosis small group session:
Preceptor: Okay, so what do we think of Jenny’s physical appearance? Healthy, right?
Group of MS1s: Yep!
Preceptor: So we’d note the pimples and acne scars, then move onto the vital signs.
Jenny: … Uh, wh-?
Preceptor: Okay! Who’s next?
Me: … *casually slinks down in chair until invisible*
It’s gonna be a long semester, folks.
Action Potential 
Just wait until it’s real patients. Then it gets so much worse 😛
ProTip: Patient’s with Cushing’s don’t like to be reminded they have have a ‘Buffalo Hump’
ProTip 2: ‘Dorsal Fat Pad’ isn’t much better.
this is one reason for medical jargon. note the acute folliculitis and the resulting cicatrix. if said with care, and offered with a treatment plan, it can bind a positive feeling in the encounter.
As someone who just had the worst cystic acne breakout of my life and still had to go out in public, I feel for you.
This is the downside of practicing certain things on fellow students.
M
Oh My gosh, that’s awful- he must have no tact!
Heh, I understand what you mean. Year 1 med student, but they’re teaching us the physical exams concurrently, and we practice in groups of four.
“So observe the acne scars on Sam’s legs, and what appear to be mosquito bites.”
Just wait until the abdominal exams and the oh-so-uncomfortable “I’m just going to palpate for your abnormally high liver now…Sam, can you please move your bra up a bit so I can at least get the inferior edge?”….
sigh.