Overheard in a certain sandwich shop: “If there aren’t olives in every bite I take, you have failed me as a sandwich artist.”
Standing in line, I was struck by a few thoughts: 1) Thank god I’ll never have to work in a minimum-wage job again, because 2) people are crazy, and 3) Wait, you can just ask for that? WILL THEY DO IT?
Sadly, I didn’t get to see if the World As I Knew It would change forever into one where I can get away with making unreasonable olive demands, because the cashier handed me my own sandwich at that point, and I figured it was more socially acceptable to pay and leave than to stick around and watch.
In other news, after walking home with my sandwich I had to finally bite the bullet and actually do an assignment that was assigned… two months ago. Due today. Because I’m on top of things, folks.
See, last semester we had to do a 20 minute interview with a standardized patient. It was the final for our “how to talk to patients” class, and it was video-recorded – so we were each given the tape and asked to watch it and critique ourselves.
(I’m using the word “interview” loosely. Since I didn’t know any medicine yet, I figured I just needed to show I could relate to her as a person. This may have been a poor decision on my part, because I just went with the flow – and as a consequence, we spent 20 minutes talking about how she’s remodeling her basement.
And then I had to rewatch it on the video. And now I know so much more about a fictional patient’s remodeling projects than I ever intended.)
So despite being given 2 full months of advance warning that a full critique of myself would be due “by Monday, February 28th”, I definitely didn’t even watch the video for the first time until this afternoon.
I don’t know why I waited so long, except that I already knew I’d spend the whole time just thinking “Why? Why do I sound like that? Why? And what, do I not own an iron?” instead of thinking helpful thoughts about how I could improve my interviewing.
So I guess I figured I could just cleverly skip over the “actually watching the video” step and go straight to the “criticizing my voice and shirt wrinkles” step.
(As it turned out, this fear was totally unwarranted. The shirt and voice were fine. Instead, I maturely spent the whole time thinking more constructive, helpful thoughts like “Why? Why the awkward ponytail? Why does it look so awkward? How is that even possible?“)
I promise I’m not normally that shallow. But then again, I normally avoid filming or watching videos of myself – so, you know.
Anyway, I managed to make it through the video and send in the critique, so it’s all good. (At least, as long as I’m not immediately outed tomorrow by someone who’s like “Hey! I read your blog! I didn’t know who you were until you admitted you were actually Awkward Ponytail Girl!“*)
Action Potential 
Unreasonable requests are my forte! Instead of properly placed olives, though, I’m expected to magically know all medications that our patients have ever taken and to telepathically be able to know if their insurance has changed since their last visit…oye. It may not be minimum wage, but I’m still convinced that I’m not being paid NEARLY enough 🙂
Wow, you are a better woman than me, that’s for sure.
I used to be a waitress at a truck-stop diner, and between the temperamental short-order cooks, other waitresses, shady owner, and occasionally very surly patrons, my job description practically = “be telepathic”.
But I quit after 6 weeks, I think. And I only kept it up that long for lack of any other jobs to apply to. Not a pretty part of my past… 🙂
One of my friends is a courtesy clerk for a supermarket. She hates it and has done some degrading tasks. But she won’t quit for a better job because she says it keeps her motivated to stay/do well in school. Particularly after talking with the middle-aged women who’ve been working the same job she is for the last 30 years.
This is so true. Nothing motivated me to get my college act together quite like my 6 week waitressing stint at Bob’s Truckside Diner.
Mmmm… “sandwich artist.” Never to be confused with their starving artist counterparts 😛
Indeed!
What about a sandwich artisan?
It’s only a matter of time.
If it’s any consolation, work I do the night before a deadline generally gets better marks than work I spend weeks on. So you’ve probably aced that critique!