Research Proposal

I’m writing a research proposal/living allowance request.  (It’s sort of a hybrid: 50% “Hey, I have this really cool idea!”, and 50% “Please, fund me,  I need money to live“).

Of course, I’ve never actually done research.  But that doesn’t bother me, because I’m banking on the idea that 3 years of making autoclave runs, staring at gels, and sorting beetles wouldn’t have necessarily meant that I’m qualified to do this project either.  (What would qualify me?  I don’t know.  For starters, being a real adult who has her taxes done already and lives in a clean apartment?)

Still, if the proposal is accepted, I have no idea how to do the required statistical analysis.  I’m just going to take an educated stab at assuming I can learn.

(… actually, I think I was supposed to have learned these statistical tests in high school statistics.  But I knew I was going to Third Tier Conservatory for my theater BFA, and I figured – why waste my time?  So I took the non-AP Stats course, and subsequently spent an entire semester memorizing how to press buttons on a borrowed TI-89 and throwing pennies at floor tiles.*  Good choices.)

In any case, since this is more of a “soft” research project (impossible for me to kill a patient, lab rat, or cancer cell), I feel like I might as well take a chance.  If the review committee thinks it’s as cool as I do, I’m sure it’ll work out.

Either way, I think the whole process of putting together the proposal has been pretty enlightening.  I’ve somehow managed to actually get my act together enough to collect letters of recommendation, write a personal statement, and even finish up the project proposal and budget itself.

Overall, it sounds almost like real work – just as long as I ignore the part where I have 2 finals next week and I’m currently behind in both classes, so it’s really more like a very fancy way to waste time.

*  The teacher asked us to throw pennies at floor tiles to generate data for the AP Statistics class.  The idea was that we were supposed to count how many times the pennies landed on the edge of a tile, versus inside the tile, so the AP Stats class could then do Real Math with it.
In practice, we learned how to quickly approximate fake data from a small sample and then steal a 2nd lunch period while the teacher was off smoking somewhere.
Yeah, I went to a public school.  LIFE SKILLS.

6 thoughts on “Research Proposal

  1. “Impossible for me to kill a patient, lab rat, or cancer cell”

    Never doubt the power of statistics to kill your soul.

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