Me: *remembers How I Met Your Mother is on tonight*
Me: … Damnit, what did I do with my TV tuner?
Me: *spends 10 minutes searching through piles of clothes for TV tuner*
Cockroach: HI DO YOU WANT HELP I CAN HELP
Me: *dignified panic attack*
Cockroach: OH I SEE YOU ARE SCREAMING NOW. I CAN SCREAM TOO. *opens and closes mouth repeatedly*
Me: *finds shoes*
Me: *quits med school, moves to Indiana to be a wheat farmer*
Edit: Aaaand How I Met Your Mother has been bumped for a sports game. There is no god.