Me: *remembers How I Met Your Mother is on tonight*
Me: … Damnit, what did I do with my TV tuner?
Me: *spends 10 minutes searching through piles of clothes for TV tuner*
Cockroach: HI DO YOU WANT HELP I CAN HELP
Me: *dignified panic attack*
Cockroach: OH I SEE YOU ARE SCREAMING NOW. I CAN SCREAM TOO. *opens and closes mouth repeatedly*
Me: *finds shoes*
Me: *quits med school, moves to Indiana to be a wheat farmer*
Edit: Aaaand How I Met Your Mother has been bumped for a sports game. There is no god.
Action Potential 
lived in married student housing during med school. lots of different cultures in old, old buildings. lots of cockroaches. just keep your own small zone as clean as possible, spray, set traps, and keep the shoe handy. and be glad they are not bedbugs.
In the lovely southwest, we find scorpions in our clothes. Our panic attacks are nowhere near dignified.
Also, I am loving that it’s snowing on your page!