Procrastinating at 500 mph

WHY.

"Its 9' sq. seat affords ample room for full-body gesticulations or sharing your prodigious chair with a friend. ... The chair has six cup-holders."

I flew back home to Boyfriend’s apartment today.  The airplane was crowded, I was tired and hungry, and I had to sit in the very last row -but luckily, I brought my BRS Embryology, High-Yield Embryo, lecture notes, and pens in my purse, so I was able to get immediately down to the task at hand: Ignoring all of it so I could waste two hours reading SkyMall.

Guys.  Important news: did you know that you can buy a 5.5′ tall folding chair for sporting events?*  Or a bazillion shady looking devices that will instantly age your wine to an awesome vintage?  (It’s true.  We’re there.  Science has reached that point.**)

If I owned this, I would hum the opening to "Muppet Treasure Island" constantly.

If someone put this in their yard, I can't decide if that would make me want to become BFFs with them or to tell the kids they're not allowed to play there. Run, child!

I made a mental note of all the awesome gadgets I would buy if I’m ever so rich that I’m just bleeding money and have nothing better to do than to buy a 6′ replica of an Easter Island monolith statue.

Actually, now that I think of it, the idea of me ever having serious money is a terrible one:  my reaction to pretty much everything in these kind of catalogs is always about 9 seconds of sheer disbelief and scoffing, followed by the slow realization that if I ever owned the rainbow shower that fades through tons of bright colors?  I WOULD SHOWER FIVE TIMES A DAY.

The question is:  Awesome, too awesome, or awesome-est?

"A favorite craft project and plaything for generations, designers have turned the classic sock monkey into fun, funky-fashion accessories that are sure to get noticed."

 

But I guess there’s still useless things of questionable taste that I can buy now, even on a med student budget. I’d hate to pick on any one product, but…. well… I’ll just leave this picture of Sock Monkey Hat and Mittens here.

*  I can’t get over that chair.  If someone of normal stature sat down in front of me at a sporting event with that chair, I would probably issue a polite death threat.  Just kidding.***
** No, it hasn’t.
*** No, for real, I’d end them.
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7 thoughts on “Procrastinating at 500 mph

  1. oh my god. now I want that rainbow shower. although I think you would have to shower in the dark for it to work. But it looks so cool, I think I could live with that.

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