And I’m not going to feel like I belong here unless I pass it.
Passing sounded so easy last week – I’ve had most of this material before, nothing’s new or surprising. But when do you stop studying? When do you decide that you know 70% of what will be tested? I’m making 74-78% on practice tests/questions (which would have horrified me in undergrad, btw) but that’s not what I would call a comfortable margin of error. I’ve never felt this way before a test before. It’s like I can talk about the material, I know most of the material, and I’ve memorized a lot of details about the material – and it still might not be enough.
At least with undergrad tests, you always know when to stop studying. This.. this is just crazy. I just want to stop studying, relax, and get some sleep – but there’s this voice in my head that keeps saying “But what if you fail? Rewatching one more lecture could make the difference.”
This would be less disturbing if I didn’t apparently have a reputation for being really low-key. (‘Low-key’ may or may not mean the same thing as ‘slacker’. I think that depends on how I do tomorrow.) But at least I have someone who always reminds me to put things in perspective and just relax:
(Sorry, Boyfriend – you’re great, too! But it’s hard to compete with a singing fish.)