Category Archives: I am a total catch

Things I’m Fairly Certain I Can’t Do

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It’s a long list.  But as far as a residency goes, I’d narrow down the list of thoroughly charming impossibilities to “surgery” and “pediatrics”.

Surgery’s awesome, but me standing still for 12 hours, so far, doesn’t seem to be biologically possible.  (Yeah, I realize I’m going to have to do it anyway.  My current plan involves salt pills, resourcefulness, and doing as much extra reading/scut as possible to distract people from my utter inability to get through a case without falling over.)

As for pediatrics, I don’t really have the personality.  I only love kids unconditionally when they’re under the age of 7.

(Hey.  Don’t look at me like that.  I don’t wish them any ill-will!)

(… Unless there’s 3 boys screaming their heads off and running around a restaurant while a smaller one throws a tantrum on the floor and their beleagured mother stares off into the distance with vacant, dead eyes and cheerios stuck in her hair.)

(I mean, hypothetically.  That’s definitely not something I saw every single day while waitressing at a popular family restaurant 6 years ago, but burned indelibly in my mind…)

Anyway.  Adult medicine isn’t exactly sunshine and roses either, so what the hell. I’ve decided to shadow a pediatrician today.  Maybe it will be fun!  Maybe I will fall in love with pediatrics!

Maybe I will not have a horrifying episode of waitressing-induced PTSD!